My Spiritual Life
When we first moved to Greenville, South Carolina, whenever we met new people almost the first thing they would say is, “Have you found your church yet?” NO, I wanted to say back, and here’s why:
I went to church and sang in the choir all my childhood. In high school years I was active in the youth group (Pilgim Fellowship); I was the Faith Leader, which means I prepared a service each week and gave a little homily. The summer before I left for college, I thought I had a Call, and set out to study for the ministry.
In college, in 1960, it took me a little over a year to get rid of that minister idea, and I totally left the church. After graduating, I moved to New York City and lived in Greenwich village with a series of lovers. It was there I first dropped LSD.
Acid totally changed my life. The LSD experience was completely life-changing. It was the experience of God; no, of being god.[DDET Read on…]
After a while, I realized that the experience of one-with-the-universe was obtainable, but that I would never achieve it completely, while taking drugs. So I stopped the drugs completely, and became macrobiotic.
I moved to Boston to study macrobiotics with Michio Kushi, lived in a study house there while studying his theory of the Oder of the Universe and eating a restricted diet revolving around brown rice. After two years, I met Guru Maharaj Ji.
I was new to the practice of Eastern meditation, and took it up with a vengeance. I folled Guru Maharaj Ji to India, to his ashram in Hardwar, by the Ganges. Coming back to the US, I was offered the chance to edit the organization’s newspaper; so I moved to the national headquarters in Denver and edited The Divine Times.
Like in any big organization, wierd things started to go on; there was a lot of money happening, and other things not mentioned. After two years, I got disillusioned, and began to leave the ashram. That was when I met Avis, who was also leaving the ashram. We fell in love, and moved in together. We got married on June 8, 1975.
After a few years, we moved to Vermont, where my parents had retired and where we could be closer to Avis’s family in Rhode Island. We were still searching for a more spiritual life. We attended meetings at the Tibetan Buddhist center in Burlington, Vermont, and at other meditation places. Then we found Guru Mayi Chitvilasananda and the Siddha Yoga path. Soon we had a meditation center meeting twice a week at our house in the mountains.
Organizations are always disillusioning, I guess, because after 10 years of Siddha Yoga, we started seeing flaws in the path, and eventually drifted away.
But that awakening that happened when I first dropped acid is still with me, and the deep understanding I’ve gained through meditation will never leave.
So now, the answer to “Have you found your church yet?” is, That has nothing to do with it! The question is meaningless. That’s not what life is about.
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