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Hands Up!

January 29th, 2016 Comments off

About 10 years ago, as far as I can see, the Great Courses people decided to hire a new director of productions, and that director decided that all presenters– male, female, whatever–must always, at all times, on pain of death, keep their hands above their waist.

It’s what I would call the Glass Bar style of presenting.  It’s as if they were standing at a bar, the kind in a tavern, and the rules were that patrons have to keep their hands visible at all times.  But now the bar is made of glass, that is, invisible, yet the rule applies at all times.

I’ve got a video course on writing conducted by a woman professor, and I guess what she has is trenchant; but I don’t know. She, too, keeps her hands always above her waist, but annoyingly during her speech flicks forward with her hands, in a pinchey motion.  It’s like she’s trying to pluck some flying smut off your nose, or to poke your eye out.

This is not a totally useless trick: just watch Jeb! in his public appearances; he lets his arms hang limply at his sides, useless, with no energy (Thanks, Trump!).  He devfinitely needs some stage direction.

I’ll bet he’s been given that stage direction, but has somehow ignored or forgotten it.  And he comes off a schlub.

But you can also see this convention is more conventional situations, like TV ads for car dealers.  Just watch the amateur dealer/owners get up in their pudgy-salesmen golf shirts and slacks:  they too never let their hands fall below the waist.  It looks so, so totally fake.

So, if you’re ever asked to give a presentation on TV, be sure to use lots of Gold Bond powder before the show; you’ll never get a chance to scratch your balls.

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